Posted by: Jeremy | August 24, 2009

Celebrating Fenway Park

Comfortable Fenway Park

Comfortable Fenway Park

Deadspin has a genious weekly feature this summer called “Why Your Stadium Sucks”, where it profiles a ballpark and asks readers to send in stories of why they hate it. Last Friday’s installment featured Fenway Park, which is famously small, smelly and uncomfortable and is home to everyone’s second-least favourite team. Here are some of the best reader submissions:

When I was 10, I went to a Yankees-Red Sox game at fenway. I rooted for neither team, went in completely neutral clothing with my Dad who is a Sox fan. In the 7th inning, an incredibly fat guy for no reason whatsoever told me to go fuck my mother because he “thought” I was cheering for the Yankees because I stood up when Jeter came to bat. (I stood up to go to the bathroom). When I came back he threw a pizza box at me. Again, I’m not a Yankee fan. (Aaron G.)

Me and a friend of mine were at a Red Sox game in Boston in the spring (I think) of 2005, about 10 rows back in the center field bleachers. Two drunk Tawmmys from Quinzee were sitting directly behind us, and spend the entire game yelling at Johnny Damon for having a little girl arm (while true, he’s on your team, no?). One says to the other “I BET I COULD THROW A BALL FACKIN FAHHTHER THAN JANNY DAMON.” Tawmmy Numbah 2 isn’t convinced, neither am I, nor is my friend. Tawmmy 1 then bets my friend ten whole dollars that he can reach the infield on a throw. My friend laughs and takes the bet, as there’s no way in hell this moron is actually going to try this during a game, right?

Wrong. Tawmmy #1 disappears for a while, and returns with a fresh beer and a souvenir baseball. My friend and I exchange a quick “No fucking way” look, and Tawmmy lets fly the ball. Sure enough, it hits the infield. Missing the back of Edgar Rentaria’s head by about 6 inches . A man of his word, my friend pays up while Tawmmy gets dragged off by the cops, screaming “FACKIN’ TOLDYA!” (Matthew L.)

And my personal favourite:

Going back to Fenway after growing up with the park is sort of like meeting my dead grandfather if Wal-Mart exhumed his corpse and turned it into a cyborg greeter. (Janssen M.)

Stay classy, Fenway, and don’t take it personally. I’m just looking forward to Toronto’s turn — I’ll have a submission of my own.



  1. tracking back Celebrating Fenway Park… tracking back Celebrating Fenway Park…

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